Extending Forgiveness & Grace

I historically have not been known to be the most forgiving. I’ve always been a one-and-done type of gal. If you crossed me or you hurt me — I was done. No apology accepted. And if I was hurt bad enough, I would burn the bridge - with you still standing on it :) 

This is not an inspiring piece about how I learned to forgive. No, the truth is there are some people I still don’t regret burning the bridge with at all — the relationship needed it, IMO. However, there are a couple of relationships where I am mad at myself for losing to my unforgiveness.

I am actively working on moving forward from hurt rather than moving on from being hurt. I’ve been going to therapy for well over a year now — and if you don’t go I highly recommend it— and one thing I’ve been actively working on is maintaining relationships and trying to be more empathetic to those I interact with. 

With help, I am understanding that, yes, there are people who cross boundaries, are self-serving, and don’t care to fix the actions they produce but now and then you are going to be hurt by someone, for whatever reason, and you will be required to forgive in order to move forward with the relationship. 

As I constantly process grace and forgiveness. I’ve pondered the following questions: What if God asked you to forgive someone, not once, not twice, but SEVERAL times? No apology required, AND they may or may not know that their actions and choices are hurting you… Could you do it?

In the bible, God had a man named Hosea marry a whore (sorry not sorry, she was), and numerous times she was unfaithful to him, their covenant, and their promise to God. She would leave him, and each time she left, Hosea was called to go and get her back. There was no point in their relationship where her actions dishonored Hosea to the point that God released him from her. God called Hosea to love her, anyway. 

Even as little as three months ago, had you told me that God called me to a “Hosea-like” situation. I would have scoffed in your face and probably cussed you out. Truthfully I still don’t know if I’m “godly” enough to handle a Hosea-like situation. But as I navigate grace and forgiveness for people within my own life whose actions have hurt me. I can’t help but read Hosea’s story - an example of God’s unwavering and gracious love for His people - and am compelled to at least try to forgive. God continuously loves and forgives us. He takes us back after our actions hurt Him every time. Who am I to tell Him “no” when He asks me to extend that same grace to people in my life? 

The question then becomes ... How?

Progress pending.