Taming of the Tongue

I pride myself on being very honest. Brutally, honest. I always tell the truth, even if it’s going to hurt. Always. And if I can’t tell you the truth, I will usually avoid you so I won’t put myself in a position to lie. The bad part about being brutally honest is that for a long time, I didn’t care if what I said hurt. If it was the truth, you were going to hear it. You needed to. How I looked at it was - I would rather someone tell me I’m acting stupid in private than EVERYONE WATCH ME BE STUPID IN PUBLIC and no one tells me. 

And then a while ago God started to get strict with me on minding my mouth. He showed me myself through a situation where I had the front-row seat of watching someone make what I believed to be a dumb decision after a dumb decision. They would just ooze out confusion, chaos, and double-mindedness. Their words and actions weren’t congruent. Their choices weren’t matching who they SAID they were. They thought they were hiding it well, but I saw through it all.  

To make matters worse, it seemed as if they were too prideful for correction. I could see them evading God’s promptings and direction and instead rationalizing their  nonsense due to having bad counsel and wanting to save face. Their wrong choices started changing them. And from those choices, people started getting hurt (myself included). 

That was the point that judgment entered my heart... COVERTLY, of course, I couldn’t get close enough to this person to say it to their face (and I wouldn’t have had a problem doing so) – instead, since I couldn’t tell them, I told everyone else and God what I thought of them and their chaos. And yeah, I had said some pretty choice words. 

“<Blank> is an idiot.”

“What an incapable person, that clearly was the WRONG decision. How do you mess that up?!”

“Prideful A**!” 

“Wow, knowing the truth they’re still too good to apologize to people? Actually no, I believe it. It’s because they're emotionally immature.”

“Incapable of admitting fault and correcting your mistakes? So we just keep on trekking without correction huh? Coward! ”

“Yeahhhh, they suck.”

All of those things I actually said to someone and/or God about that person. The things I said were ugly and I’m not proud of them. What’s worse is I would have GLADLY said all this to that person's face if I had been given the opportunity or closeness (which was God protecting them from me for sure.) But that’s how I justified my actions because I knew if given the opportunity I would have said it all to their face without even giving it a second thought. I WANTED to say it to their face and call them out.

Looking back at it now, I thank God that I never got the opportunity and I REALLY thank God that He used this experience to show me myself. 

He revealed to me how ugly my actions were. He revealed to me the power of my words. The power behind what I say of people. The power is the same whether I said it to their face or behind their back. He warned me that I needed to be careful allowing hate and negativity to flow out of the same mouth He had called to bless people —regardless if I was spot on or not with my rebuke. The intention behind the words used was to hurt the other person back. They were evilly intended. Just as evil and damaging as the repercussions of this person's bad choices were having on themselves and the people around them. 

My words coming from a place of anger and/or hurt was cursing them, and not just this situation but everyone that I had previously chosen to fly off at the mouth about. The words I said especially in the manner in which I said them were not something that God could use to lovingly convict people but what Satan could use to condemn them.

Yeah, I don’t know about y’all but I refuse to help that lowlife devil win at anything! So I’m watching my tongue from now on. I am working on taking my judgment and emotions to God first AND THEN allowing Him to give me the words to loving correct, confront or ignore. 

You may be like me and tend to be reckless at the mouth. Allow me to offer advice as to what I have been doing to offset this bad habit that I have willfully participated in for 26 years and am just now binding under God’s authority. 

First IT'S NOT EASY, and don’t lie to yourself that just because you are now aware you do it means you won’t do it again. The Bible says that no man can tame the tongue. You can’t but He can. Don’t trust yourself to quit on your own. It will just take the right idi— situation— to trigger you. And without a plan, you’re flying off at the mouth again. 

The next time you feel like you're about to say something reckless (for me it's when I'm angry) take a few deep breaths and then pray. Here is the prayer I have been using:

God, help me to mind my tongue. You know what my flesh wants to say about this situation. You know what evil thoughts are trying to take hold of my mind towards your people and what’s happening. I am NOT a tool for the wicked. I will NOT use my mouth to curse the people that You love and call Holy. Allow me to only speak life, love, and Your will. Arrest my heart, and give me edifying words to say or nothing at all! Do not allow the enemy to use me to curse others or to bring more evil into this world. I am a child of You, and I long to do Your works only. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Be careful of what you speak about people and situations. I can already see it. In 2023 Alexis will be silent and praying… A LOT…and in turn God will give me the power and desire to do what is pleasing in His eyes. 

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Bible Scripture You May Find Helpful:

• James 3: 3-12

• Psalms 141:3

• Proverbs 12:18 

• Proverbs 18:21